True Torment Within
by TransformingTurtle
Summary: "It was quiet. Almost quiet enough to make him go insane, but the sound of his subordinate still breathing next to him kept him from going crazy." One-shot where Roy tries desperately to protect Ed from adult methods of torture as they are captured and unable to escape, not knowing when or if help is on the way. Parental Roy/Ed & rated T just to be safe! R&R!


_Guess who's back at it again with a parental one-shot that isn't any of the ideas I told you I'd be writing about :)_ _But I'm back with FMA goodness, so I think that's all that should matter here, right? This idea definitely came out of the blue, literally, and I'm proud to say it's the fastest I've ever put together any FMA related story._

 _Not much to say about this one. Just some insight into the mind of Roy when he and Ed have been captured and there's no way out. I really really tried to keep these two in character this time. If you've read my other stuff, which you totally should, they have been a bit OOC at times, but I really tried. Please tell me how I did._

 _But most of all, enjoy!_

 _Fun fact: This entire one-shot was based on the first line of the story that just randomly came to me one day!_

 _Disclaimer: As usual, no._

* * *

It was quiet. Almost quiet enough to make him go insane, but the sound of his subordinate still breathing next to him kept him from going crazy. A wall separated the two from being able to see each other, but he could still listen to the only noise he cared to hear. They didn't talk much, not really. Every now and then he'd ask if the boy was okay. Most of the time he received a mere grunt in response. At least it was better than the times he received nothing at all. The dark silence would drag on for hours. He couldn't even remember how long they had been there now. Surely someone had to be coming for them soon...

A sneeze, followed by a whimper, caused the older alchemist to jerk his head to his right. He knew he wouldn't be able to see him, but it was still instinct to look. He held his breath a moment, just in time to hear the near silent curse from the boy's mouth.

"Ed?"

Nothing.

He would have let it go like all the other times, except for the fact that a simple sneeze had caused his youngest subordinate to cry out in pain.

"Answer me, Fullmetal." He demanded. "Are you okay?"

It took a few moments, but finally he heard that voice he was almost starting to miss.

"I'm fine." He huffed out. "These cuffs are too tight is all."

In translation, they were cutting into his skin, but he wasn't going to make the boy say it.

"What about you?" Came the voice again.

He looked himself over to see just what kind of shape he was in. His royal blue uniform was stained red, and he could practically feel the blood that was caked to his face. There was a knife was still wedged in his right thigh from a couple days ago, and It looked like it was starting to get infected. Truthfully, he worried that he could lose it all together if it didn't get taken care of soon.

"Nothing to worry about, kid. I'll be fine." He tried to sound like he was smiling, but he was sure he had failed.

"You're lying" was the only response that came.

He couldn't help but smile a little at that. "So are you…"

They came for them just about everyday. Surprisingly, they never hurt Ed too badly. It was apparent they had some reservations about hurting a child, but clearly had no intentions of letting him go. Every couple days or so they gave him a beating for good measure, but otherwise left him alone. Aside from the fact that they had figured out how to remove his arm, it was clear they didn't know his title as Fullmetal or they wouldn't be going so easy on him. He was curious as to who exactly they thought he was, but asking would only make them suspicious; so he counted what little blessings he still had and kept his mouth shut.

He, on the other hand, didn't hold such luck. They had no problem taking him to their interrogation room and tying him down on the cold, metal table to pick and prod and stab and burn until he gave them information. If he had only remembered to pack an extra pair of gloves that night, they might not be in this mess. Of course, if he had and still ended up getting captured, they would know his identity too. Since they hadn't asked for anything in particular, he had gotten away with making stuff up for this long. Eventually, however, they were going to figure it out, and he knew it wouldn't be pretty.

Clearly these men hadn't been in the game for very long. They had to be either working for someone, or literally have nothing better to do. They were idiots who thought it would be a great idea to hijack a military car that just so happened to be carrying the Flame and Fullmetal Alchemist. Granted, idiots who had managed to keep them prisoners for, what? Two or three weeks now? But he refused to think of them as anything else. The only thing that worried him was time. The longer they remained trapped, the more aggressive they were becoming. He noticed it when they brought out the fire. Then came the hallucination injections. They seemed to be getting smarter, if that was the term for it, and using more creative torture methods. Yesterday they had gotten way too handsy with him. It was an experience he hoped to never have, but what really scared him was how close they came to actually doing something. He was confident they would keep pushing boundaries until they found even more terrible ways to violate him on every level. That's why he prayed his team would find them soon.

Because if they would do it to him...

"…Ed." He cringed. He would never let it go that far. He would find a way. He had to.

"What?"

Roy almost jumped. He didn't even realize he had said the boy's name out loud.

"Sorry. Don't worry about it."

He should have definitely been worried.

"How long has it been since you slept?"

As much as he tried to hide his condition from the boy, he knew Ed was starting to catch on. First, there was the fact that he couldn't move his right leg without some sort of whimper or grunt in pain. Then there were the hallucinations. He must have really freaked the kid out that time. The effects of whatever drugs they were giving him also gave him horrific nightmares when he slept. No matter what he did to try and stop then, they all involved watching his subordinate be tortured to death. Sometimes he would wake up crying. Other times Ed would have to scream his name until he realized it was just a dream.

"A day or two maybe. Why? Concerned for my well being or something?"

"No...I just don't want you to die on me and leave me alone with these freaks."

He tried to make it sound harsh, but Roy knew what he was trying to say.

Ed wasn't like any of his other subordinates. He was brilliant and strong willed. Stubborn and kind hearted. And he was determined to do everything on his own. But most importantly, he was merely a child, forced into adulthood at much too young of an age. He had been to hell and back, yet he still had an innocence about him that Roy wanted to protect. Having Ed under his command made him feel…responsible, in a way. He wasn't sure what it was exactly, but he knew he would do anything for that kid.

"My team is working day and night to find us, and I'm sure Alphonse is right there with them." He always tried to be encouraging, even when he didn't believe it himself.

"I hate this! You should have never offered me a ride home. I don't know why I even accepted…"

He could hear the exhaustion in Ed's voice as evidence he was reaching his breaking point too.

"I'm sorry for getting us into this mess." He offered.

Ed merely scoffed in response. "Sorry doesn't help."

"Well you can still blame me if you want."

"Stop doing that!" The boy yelled back.

"Doing what?"

"That thing you do to avoid fighting with me."

Roy closed his eyes and took a quick, painful breath. "I really don't have the strength right now. Sorry."

After a short pause, Ed questioned him again. "Just how injured are you?"

"It's not that bad...my leg is a little messed up though."

He heard the boy sigh loudly. "So you're saying that even if I busted us out of here, you wouldn't be able to walk….great."

"You can get out?" Roy sat up a little more straight and look in the blond's direction.

"I'm still thinking it through...but maybe."

Finally he had a reason to hope again.

"Then you should go right now. If there's even a small chance then you take it."

"You just told me you can't even walk. We'll never make it. The best chance we have is to wait until you've healed some."

"I'm not going with you." Roy stated quietly.

"Are you crazy?"

"I'll stay here so you can get help."

"They'll kill you!"

"We don't know that."

"Mustang, these guys maybe amateurs, but they're not that nice."

Everything the boy was saying made sense. He was probably even right, but he couldn't be selfish right now.

"I'm not going without you." Ed was more quiet, but Roy could hear the desperation in his voice.

"Fine. One more day. If my team hasn't come by tomorrow night, you get out. That's an order, Fullmetal."

"That's hardly enough time! Why can't we wait a little longer?"

"Because I don't know how much more of this I can take!"

His shout echoed through the room as he took in deep breaths. He slowly leaned his head against the wall. The statement was true- it was driving him crazy not knowing what these guys were going to do to them on a daily basis. They were unpredictable, and he didn't know how much longer they would leave Ed out of it. He was also in a lot of pain, but that part he would keep to himself.

"What have they been doing to you?"

He stayed quiet for a while, but finally decided to give the kid something.

"Look, I'm just tired. Tired of sitting here day after day, unable to do anything except let them hurt us. I can't get us out of here and I can't sleep, because I'm tired of watching you get tortured every time I finally do close my eyes. I know help is on the way, but I…I'm just tired of waiting, Ed. If you can get out of here, then please, go."

"Fine." Ed finally responded after a long pause. "I'll leave tonight. But you have to promise to stay alive until I get back."

Roy exhaled the biggest sigh of relief since they had gotten there.

"Sure thing, kid."

* * *

He couldn't be sure how much time had passed since he last spoke to Ed, but he could still hear him in the cell next to his, so he decided it didn't matter. His eyelids were heavy and he was finally about to give in to the sleep that was desperately calling for him, until he started to hear chains rustling.

"Ed?"

"Shh." Was all got in response. He rolled his eyes and patiently waited for Ed to finish whatever he was doing. Finally, after several moments, he heard something click and fall to the ground.

"I can't believe that actually worked." Came Ed's surprised voice next to him.

"How did you even do that?"

I've been using the edge of the cuff to engrave a circle into the brick. I can't really see though so I had no idea if I was even doing it right.

"You are something else, kid."

 _So that's right why his wrist was bleeding...he's been rubbing it raw._

"How's your wrist?"

The boy was silent for a minute, no doubt a little surprised that he figured out so much.

"Don't worry about me, Mustang. Just do what I said."

"You know you can't tell me what to do, right?"

"Don't give me that crap!" He almost yelled. "You promised."

"Alright alright. Calm down before you wake them up. Just make it out of here safe. And _that's_ an order."

"Yeah whatever. Just wait here."

 _Like I have a choice…_

He heard the boy exit the cell and run off, thankful he didn't come to see him before he left. He was afraid if Ed took a good look at him, he would lose his nerve and stay. All he could do now was wait. It was quiet for a while. He had to keep reminding himself to breathe while he waited. It wasn't clear what exactly he was waiting for. Just something to let him know Ed had gotten out. After ten minutes or so, he began to ease up a little. Surely the kid had figured something out by now. He was too smart not to. He had resolved to finally get some sleep. They could no longer hurt him in his dreams. How he longed for just a few hours of peaceful rest. Just as he closed his eyes, the sound of his cell creaking jerked them open again. It was them again. Well, of them, and he didn't look happy. Did they know?

 _Ed!_

"What do you want?" He demanded with a rather pitiful glare.

"Oh I think you know."

The man removed the chains from the wall but kept him cuffed. He grit his teeth at the sharp pain in his leg as he half-walked, but was mostly drug out of the cell. He quickly noticed they weren't going to his normal interrogation room. His heart started to beat faster as sweat began to form. Were they going to kill him now? Move him so Ed wouldn't be able to find him? He was about to demand answers when the man next to him spoke first.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Roy looked, but the man wasn't speaking to him. His eyes were focused in front. He had a terrible feeling he knew exactly who the man was speaking to. Stealing a quick glance, he saw his youngest subordinate at the end of the hall with their other captor. It was apparent the man had tried to stop him, but it looked like Ed had won. He was so close...

Looking again, Ed was staring at him intently, mouthing what appeared to be his name. It was the first time he had gotten a good look, and no doubt was realizing that he had been lying to the boy this whole time about his true condition. He could only imagine. If he looked as bad as he felt, then it probably seemed as though he had taken a few months worth of beatings, not a few weeks.

"What are you doing!?" He shouted at the kid, trying to ignore the pain "Run!"

"Sure, run away." The man next to him mocked. "But just know that if you do, he's a dead man." He pulled Roy close and held a knife to his throat, pressing it hard enough that a small trail of blood trickled from underneath.

"Don't listen to them. Just go!" He continued to plead.

"I-I…." He saw Ed take a few steps back, and knew he was losing him.

"Edward!"

Finally, the blond lowered his head, unable to look his superior in the eye anymore. "I'm sorry…I just can't."

He began to throw out every curse he knew at the boy. He even tried to play the court martial card, but Ed stood his ground. He had never simultaneously felt so much anger towards someone he was also risking his life to save. Why did he have to be so stubborn?

Ed stood there while the man closest to him cautiously approached. He willingly let the man knock the wind out of him and hold a gun on him as they all made their way back to the cells.

If they both somehow made it out of this, he was going to kill that boy.

They chained Ed up again using new cuffs that bolted to the wall while merely throwing him down in front of them, knowing he was too weak to do anything.

"Well now, what should we do about this?"

The other guy walked up behind Roy and grabbed him by his hair to look at him.

"Oh and guess what, Colonel _Mustang._ " Emphasizing his name as an indication he knew who he was. "Turns out you're not a lieutenant at all. You're the great Flame Alchemist. That was quite a ruse you've been putting on. And you're going to pay dearly for it."

He kicked him in the stomach and began to punch him repeatedly. He punched him until Roy was spitting up blood and Ed could no longer stay quiet.

"Stop!" The young blond screamed out.

"What's wrong?" The man mocked as he lifted up Roy by his shirt. "Can't handle watching daddy get all beat up?"

That wasn't a comment either of them were expecting as he and Ed shared a quick, awkward glance with each other. No wonder they hadn't figured out who he was…

"I'm not his son, you idiot! I'm the—"

"Ed!"

Seriously, what was the boy thinking, trying to give away his identity. He shared a stern look with his subordinate, daring him to continue. Thankfully, Ed shut his mouth, but he could see the anger in his eyes.

"Just ignore him." The man holding onto Roy said. "What are we gonna do with this one?" He nodded at the colonel.

The other man thought a moment. "Hmm…hey does that old electric chair work?"

He stiffened at the words, but didn't make a sound.

"Actually, I was thinking of trying something a bit more personal." The other man said, using his free hand to caress Roy's face.

At this, Roy finally looked up at the man. Apparently his luck had just run out.

They both began to drag him away while Ed pleaded with them.

"Wait! Don't do this! Roy! You have to fight it!"

As hard as it was seeing his subordinate so upset, he knew this was the only way to keep him safe. If he fought them or said anything stupid, they would go after the boy, so he did what they wanted. Ed would be safe and everything would be—

"Take me instead!"

He snapped his head at the younger alchemist in utter shock. _What the hell?_

"Please!" Ed continued frantically. "Let me take his place..."

Even the two men stopped and turned to the look at the blond.

"What, are you crazy? Just sit there like a good little boy and we'll deal with you later."

"I am not a little boy!" Ed shouted angrily. "I'm the Fullmetal Alchemist and you better start treating me like it!"

Yep. He was definitely going to kill that kid when they got out of here.

The two men, however, just shared glances with one another before bursting out laughing.

"You're the Fullmetal Alchemist? Hero of the people? Yeah right! You're way too much of a runt to be that guy."

 _Great._ Roy thought. _They just had to go and piss him off. Now he's really going to say something stupid._

"I'm a state alchemist under the command of Colonel Roy Mustang! I am _not_ his son and I AM NOT LITTLE!"

"Uhhh…" The men shared confused looks with one another.

"Do I seriously have to spell it out for you? I used alchemy to escape! I have a prosthetic arm _and_ leg! My state pocket watch is in my red coat that was in the car you hi-jacked! What else do you need?"

Roy started to panic. How could they be considering this?

"Even if you don't believe me, he's not going to last much longer. If you kill him now, you'll never get your information. So take me."

"No!" Roy shouted at them.

One of the men walked over to Ed and bent down to his level. "And who's to say we can't get any information out of you?"

Ed gave him the cockiest grin he could make. That look he gave when he knew he had won. "You can try."

"Don't listen to him!" Roy tried to plea with the man holding onto him. "He's lying!"

"Shut up!" The man scowled and knocked him to the ground with his gun. "We already know everything you say is a lie, so he must be telling the truth."

He had to lie there a minute and wait for the dizziness to go away before he could lift his head. By the time he could move, the men had already grabbed Ed and were bringing him out.

"Stop!" He reached out to grab their foot but received a kick in his side instead. He curled up and coughed out more blood.

They closed his cell and locked him in once again. He drug himself over to the bars.

"Edward!"

The boy said nothing, but gave him a sad smile as they took him away.

"Listen Ed! You don't want this!"

They continued to walk further away, until he could no longer see him.

"You don't know what they've done to me!"

He sunk to his knees and finally broke down for the first time since they had been brought there. He had failed. The boy had no way of being prepared for what they were going to do to him. How could he? He cried because he was letting the very thing happen he swore wouldn't. And that truly was more painful than anything they could ever do to him.

Several moments passed before he had calmed down enough to think more clearly. He wiped his now red eyes and listened. Listened because that was all he had and he had finally noticed how quiet it was.

What could they be doing to him? He should be screaming or yelling or something to make noise at least. Had they taken him somewhere else? He held his breath and listened harder.

Nothing. Not a single sound.

Did the kid really have that much resolve for him?

Then again, this was the same Ed who had already been through hell.

But how long was he going to have to wait?

Finally, he heard it. It wasn't as loud as he was expecting. In fact, it sounded really far off. But he definitely heard yelling. It had to be him. He thought being able to hear would somehow help, but after a few seconds of listening, he realized what a terrible idea it had been. Turning his back to the bars, he curled up and covered his ears, begging silently for the noise to stop…

* * *

Roy opened his eyes slowly, not remembering when he had shut them, but everything was too bright to see clearly. Was this another dream? It seemed different this time. He was lying down, and it felt like people were touching him. Had they come back for him already?

"Ed!" He shouted suddenly.

Immediately someone was talking in his ear, and more hands started touching him. He finally made out a few words that sounded like "fine" and "okay." And they didn't sound like the two men at all. He then realized his hands were free as he brought them up to rub his eyes into focus. When he tried opening them again, he saw that there really were multiple people around him, but they weren't hurting him. They were helping him. It was his team!

"Where's Ed? He questioned as he let his eyes close once more.

"He's with Havoc, sir." It was Hawkeye who answered. "Getting checked out."

"Is he okay?"

"He will be, just like you." She tried to sound comforting as she squeezed his hand softly.

He couldn't help the few silent tears that escaped. He had been so close to keeping his promise, but he failed, probably by mere hours. The kid was so young, he wondered if he would ever be the same after this.

"How about I go check on him?" She smiled and walked off, seeming to understand his distress.

Ed was sitting down with a blanket draped over him. His normal braid was gone, letting his hair hang over his shoulders. He kept staring at the floor and wasn't saying much, which worried the second lieutenant who was currently looking after him. Alphonse was also sitting close by, appearing to be concerned as well.

"You okay kid?" He asked, hesitant to get too close to him.

"Yeah." Was the all the boy said as he continued to stare down.

"Why don't we go to the other room with the others? I'm sure they're all wondering about you."

Ed looked up at him a moment, and then to Al. "I think I'm gonna stay a bit longer, if that's okay."

Before Havoc could respond, Hawkeye walked in and joined them. She knelt down in front of the boy and smiled. "Hi Edward."

He gave a small smile in return. "Hey."

She then looked at Havoc. "Why don't you go see how the Colonel's doing."

From anyone else, it would have sounded like just an idea, but when it came from Hawkeye, everyone knew it was an order. Havoc saluted without protest and began to walk out.

"You too, Alphonse. I'm sure Roy would like to see you as well." She looked at him the same, but Al was always a bit harder to persuade when it meant leaving his brother's side.

Finally he laid a hand on his older brother's shoulder. "Will you be okay if I go?"

"Yeah" The blond assured him. "Thanks Al."

Hawkeye took a seat next to him after everyone was gone. "How are you holding up?"

"Why does everyone keep asking that? I'm fine." He snapped.

"We care about you, Edward. All of us."

He glanced up at her and felt bad. "Sorry."

"The Colonel is asking for you."

"I know."

"He's worried about you."

He laughed slightly. "No, he just wants to kill me for what I did. He hates me."

"Ed. Look at me." She demanded. "Roy could never hate you. He's done nothing but look out for you. He cares about you more than you know."

"You didn't see the way he looked at me." Ed pulled his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them. "I just don't want to fight with him about it right now. He's been through enough."

"Oh Ed." She couldn't help but laugh, "You two are more alike than you'll ever know."

She stood up and held her hand out to him. "He needs to know you're okay. If you care about his well being, you owe him that much. Come on."

Reluctantly, he took her hand and walked back to join the others.

* * *

Roy was still lying on the cot they had set up for him while a medical team treated his leg. They had removed the blade and cleaned and bandaged the wound. They had also treated his other wounds and given him a clean shirt, making him look ten times better than he had in three weeks. Unfortunately it did not make him feel any better as his mind kept drifting to that troublesome subordinate he swore he would kill.

"We've tended to your major wounds, but you still need to be taken to a hospital. An ambulance should be here soon."

"Yeah yeah. I know." He waved them off.

As if on cue, he noticed two blond heads entering the room. He tried to sit up as quickly as he could, despite the pain. Hawkeye waited as Ed walked over a little closer to him. He climbed off the cot, completely ignoring the medical team who were shouting at him to lie back down, and hobbled over to the boy.

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, until finally Ed spoke.

"Roy…I—"

Without even thinking, Roy lunged his hand towards him, causing Ed to flinch and throw his arm up in defense. In one swift movement, he grabbed onto the boy's wrist and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Why?" Were the only words he spoke as he gently stroked the back of Ed's head. The boy stood there in shock at the strange affection from his superior. When he saw that Roy wasn't going to let go, he decided to return the hug and wrap his own arms around the man.

"They didn't do anything...I'm okay." He said softly into Roy's shirt.

The man finally let go and pulled back, looking at him with watery eyes. "I heard you."

"Oh that…I thought I heard someone else in the building, so I started calling for help. It turned out to be Hawkeye and Alphonse with the others." He swallowed thickly before continuing. "They got there just in time."

"Where are they?" He demanded. "I'm going to kill them."

"The only thing you're going to do is go to a hospital, sir." Hawkeye stated, walking up to them. "Besides, they're already dead. They tried going after Edward."

He looked down at the boy, who still seemed uncomfortable. "Thank you." He said kindly.

Ed looked at him a little confused. "What?"

"Thank you for saving my life." Then he looked at his first lieutenant. "And thank you for saving his."

Riza nodded and left to gather the others. Roy turned to walk away himself when Ed grabbed his arm.

"Thank you...all this time...for protecting me."

He slipped the man's arm over his shoulder and helped him back over to the cot. Roy smiled as he lied back down, feeling completely relaxed, despite his injuries.

"Anytime, kid."

* * *

 _So there you have it! Why I like writing gritty stuff I have no idea. I just do._

 _But I did promise you there would be more sweet stories in the future and I assure you there is! I have a really fantastic idea for Roy and Riza and of course we still have Ed and Winry's wedding to tackle in the final installment of The Bonds of Alchemy. Among many, many other things I am currently working on. (Which is really one too many at once.)_

 _So basically, this is not even close to the last time you'll be hearing from me. Don't lose faith guys!_

 _Until next time! (which could possibly be next year!)_


End file.
